Back in the Pool

Last week I wrote about my issues with the beast, commonly known as the University of Toronto, and how they all of a sudden decided that I was no longer a student, making my regular lunch time swims at the Athletic Centre impossible. Thanks for the heads up, dumbasses!!!

Well, I've gone through a week of being bounced from the Graduate Services office to my Faculty and back again just to find out that, indeed, I am no longer considered a student and, therefore, my membership at the athletic centre was inactive. It turns out that they are refunding me half my tuition (for the Winter term), which is nice of them and all, but then they will charge me, in a separate transaction, a "balance of degree fee" that is about $300 more than the refund I am so generously to receive! What a Fruitin' joke!!!

Today I decided to go back to the pool and buy a membership as a 1st or 2nd year alumni, which entitles me to a reduced fee. You can imagine my surprise when I was informed that I was not eligible for this reduced membership fee since technically I won't "graduate" until June, and so I have to pay a different alumni fee, which is more than the 1st or 2nd year alumni fee (where I should friggin' fit in since I JUST FINISHED!), but at least a little cheaper than the "anybody off the street" fee. My question, which resulted in a stonefaced dumbfounded look on the three robots behind the counter, is how can I be considered an alumni when I haven't technically "graduated", but not a 1st or 2nd year alumni when their own system tells them that I just finished my last course in December?!?! Naturally, they came up with zero by way of explanation. The best I can come up with is that you can be considered an alumni by this fine institution even if you drop out (probably so they can send you letters begging for money), but when you "finish" is only determined by the School of Graduate Studies and their confirmation of convocation.

AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Long story short, I paid for a 4 month membership, rented a "non-student" locker (and had to move all my crap for fear of them cutting my lock within seconds, a warning the robots were quick to administer), and swam 1500m in 22 minutes.

The other upside of the membership is that I will have access to this fancy new outdoor race track when the snow melts, where I will be able to do some speed workouts when I get to that point in my running plan. It should be soft and cushiony to run on this:

The Behemoth Rears its Ugly Head

It was bound to happen, but somewhere in the back of my mind I was holding out hope that the University of Toronto would, in this instance, put the student first. Instead, when I arrived at the Athletics Centre and attempted to swipe my student card to gain entry the overzealous lifer behind the counter became all agitated and directed me (commanded is the better word in fact) to, "Go speak to someone at the Office! The computer shows that you are not a member! You are NOT a member!!!"

I felt like replying, "Lay off the amphetamines, buddy!", but didn't and went to the Office to discover that, indeed, I was no longer considered a student even though I'd paid Athletic Centre fees up until the end of this semester as part of my tuition.

With nothing else to do, and no backpack to carry the stuff I still have stored in a locker for which I also paid (this time as a separate fee) until the end of the semester, I decided to call on the School of Graduate Studies to see if there was any recourse available that may allow me to continue swimming until May. Yet again I was faced with an automaton whose sole responsibility seems to be to regurgitate the policies of mother ship UofT, which she did very well by the way, and for which she must be commended. (This institution never ceases to amaze in its ability to produce cookie cutter human byproducts in an endless stream of potential staffers as most of their employees on the administrative side seem to be former students who, for some strange reasons, find it appealing to remain indentured servants of UofT.)

Anyway, I have to go back at some point and run the gauntlet of robots stationed strategically at the entry to the gym in order to get my swimming stuff out of that locker, or decide to pay an extra fee and continue to swim a couple of times per week to support my running. I think the swimming is key for me as it provides for great cardio workouts without any impact to my wonky legs, but I am loath to pay any more money to this University for the very thought instantly brings on the bitter taste of bile. Of course, should I choose to keep my money out of their coffers I will then have to find another way to cross train, preferably during the day on my lunch break as this has been most convenient and leaves my evenings open to spend with the boys.

And on a lighter note, how much do you think this fool likes his candy?